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Wednesday, 9 December 2009

Emo + Confused post..

If you don't feel like hearing me randomly rant and basically confuse you, you don't have to read on..

I'm just in such a dilemma right now!! I want to move to KL to work on my modeling career, but at the same time, I really do not want to leave my boyfriend!! He cant move with me because, well, it would be selfish of me to uproot him when he already has a successful career here in KK.. The plan is basically for me to also continue studying while I'm in KL, and I have come to the conclusion that I will do a one year foundation course, then go on to do a degree in mass communication. I cant go straight to degree as I dont have enough credits, and I cant do a diploma because my dad doesnt believe in them! He actually wants me to do A Levels, but I refuse as I think it will be a waste of time and money, as I will most definately fail them; I'm not going through all the commerce/accounting/math classes again!! BUT, at first I was thinking of a diploma, which is 2 and a half years, or straight to degree, which is 3 years. Bf and I agreed on this. But now I have to add foundation, which means I'll have to be there for FOUR years!! How will we stand being seperated for at least 4 years? And.. What if I succeed in my dream and dont want to come back? What then? It's just so confusing!!

I have a good life right now here, but I cant do nothing for the rest of my life - it's already boring me!! And I know if I dont take this opportunity given to me I'll regret it for the rest of my life, and a relationship of hate will not go down in the long run will it?! Sigh.. So what should I do? Go over and not study (might regret that, and bf insists I do study anyway)? Go over and do a diploma (resulting in unhappy dad, and a waste of another couple of years)? Or what? Argh~!! I hate this!!!


  1. definitely no diploma.
    A level is a very very good stepping stone.
    but if u already know which uni u want to go into, then dont waste time in a level, go straight into foundation.
    if ur bf really loves u, he will go there with u to support u. we are all selfish beings. the matter is who is more selfless.
    we seriously need to meet up to talk. yeap yeap.

  2. Hey, I sympathize with you being torn between the two. Long distance relationships don't work imho, you'll just grow apart... If you can see each other at least on the weekends and holidays, that may work out for a while or even for the whole 4 years, who knows, but it's still going to be hard!
    I'd go to a good psychic, sorry if you don't believe in things like that. I find it helps to get some guidance from a reputable clairvoyant when you feel stuck.
    I wish you to make the right choice for your path in life. All the best!

  3. Regina: I know A Levels are good, but I'm not such an academic person, I would definately not be able to sit through all that!! ;p N no, I cant ask him to come with me: he's letting me go c he doesnt want me to have regrets, and if he let everything go here, then, that would just be the same problem for him! Thing is, we know regrets will ruin a relationship in the end, and that is why we need to do this, hard as it is.. =(

    Anya: I know, I myself once said I could never be in a long-distance relationship.. But we've been together so long now, and been through so much together, I'm just hoping it will work out this time!! I know we're in for a VERY hard 4years, but we're going to see each other at least every 2 months, and definately on all the holidays + special days!! So I just have fingers, toes EVERYTHING crossed.. ;p I did go for a tarot card reading over the weekend actually, and the reading was quite good.. Will blog about it, take a look! =) Thanks for your support, and how come I havent seen u blog in a while??

  4. I know exactly how you feel, babe. I've been in that situation before and I still am on and off. I'm not sure about you, but to me, you might want to search for some online study or distance learning. Who knows, you might be given some chance from this step. Then, you might just take the next step from there. Nothing is impossible. But you just need more supports and research and ideas... I think. Well, at least, it is to me XD Whatever you do, I will support you :)

  5. Well, main thing with moving to KL is the modeling and stuff, so.. yea.. Lol.. U know what I mean right? Haha.. N I doubt I'd have the discipline for online studying.. I dunno.. But some things have been set in place, so working from there.. Thanks a lot babe, I know u always have my back! =)

  6. Hey, Calis. Hope u still remember me.. We hadnt met each other for so long. Btw, u look stunning! :D

    IMO, if you're not a very academic person, i think you shud take diploma first. Diploma isn't that bad actually, compare to alevels, its piece of cake.

    Well, I did my alevels (which I almost failed all) but I still ended up in diploma. I don't know how I got there.. but Im glad I did ir.

    About ur boyfriend and you. I understand how u feel, I've been in a long-d relationship before, and we've only met each other twice a yr. Im glad everything is over and Im with him right now..! But Im sure u guys can do it.. Its the heart that truly matters, and the distance is just an obstacle that tries to stop you. Oh, and Im here to give u support! I seriously thinks that distance is not a problem..

    Btw, diploma is not a waste of time. If u think u can't do alevels, its better u do diploma. Cuz alevels is no kidding.. I actually regretted doing my alevels cuz i barely pass. Not to mention my mom yelling at me telling me hw much $$ money I've wasted when she saw my results. :P

  7. Hey Viv, of cos I still rmb ya!! =)

    I know diploma is s'posed to be a lot easier than A Levels, and it is something you wanna do, whereas A Levels, well, it's just high school but harder right? I mean in Malaysia anyway.. In the UK you have as many subjects to choose from as diplomas, but that's besides the point. Thing is, my dad taught diploma here before, so.. Yea.. I dunno.. But if I'm not gonna do what he wants (A Levels), I just think I shouldnt do what he doesnt want (diploma) while I'm at it.. Lol.. Right now I'm thinking of doing a year's foundation then straight to degree.. I'm fine with that, just that the time it will take is so long now.. Sigh.. N yea, I really hope things will work out for me n my bf.. Fingers crossed we'll be seeing each other more often than twice a year though!! I'm glad to hear you 2 'survived'.. =D

  8. ya! we "survived" .. and I find it funny actually when I think back all the times we've been through!! :D ~~ Aww!! thats definitely better if u meet each other more than twice a year ~ *hearts* Ya! IMO, it's MUCH MORE harder than highschool ~ nightmare.HAHA!! I got very terrible results ~~XD and we can only choose 3 subjects,I took it from institute sinaran and im not sure about west malaysia. I dono the diploma back in malaysia cuz i took my diploma in singapore. But diploma is highly acceptable here in singapore.. so ya.

    Aww!! it's okay, 4 yrs.. Mine is about 5 1/2 yrs including alevels. :P

  9. Haha.. Things are always funny when you think back, but it's SERIOUSLY not funny when it's happening! ;p Basically everyone's been warning me against A Levels, and yea, west malaysia is the same, only choices are commerce or science subjects.. If u wikipedia A Levels in like the UK, do you know how many options there are??? Sigh, so depressing.. ;p